Diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Source: http://topicsimple.com/blog/new-topic-simple-video-what-is-generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad/ 

I was clinically diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder by my psychiatrist. But before that, I was referred to her by our cardiologist. I was already seeing a doctor near our house because of possible vertigo (I was prescribed to drink anti vertigo medicine). It worked alright but the dizziness did not disappear. Plus I was having a terrible cough that time. It was around January 2016 when I decided to go to a pulmonologist to check if there is something wrong with my lungs as I was having difficulty in breathing normally. I even thought that it was asthma.

I went to the best pulmonologist in our city. The doctor is a bit old (hey hey, I'm not discriminating here). He has a secretary that will do the writing and all. They gave me something that I need to blow (up to now, I'm still not sure if that was to check if I have asthma or not as they did not disclosed this to me). They also checked my blood to know if I have allergies that time and alas, I do have. He prescribed me anti allergy (Prednisone) to drink for 2 weeks. I grabbed that chance to ask him about hyperventilation. He told me that he knows that hyperventilation is only a symptom not an illness per se. I came back a week after and asked him to change the medicine as my stomach cannot handle its side effects. He then gave me Montelukast (anti-allergy) which to be taken for 1 week. I only drank the medicine for 3 days as I was shaking so bad and had palpitations whenever I drink it.

Just a few weeks after that, my sister suffered Anaphylactic shock (allergy shock) and almost died. Good thing my mother knows a 24 hour clinic near our house. This was when I had another severe hyperventilation attack that I was rushed to a hospital. Unlike my first hyperventilation episode, the hospital did not inject medicine to calm me instead, they just waited out my hyperventilation and had me take an ECG (electrocardiography). This is when we decided to see our family cardiologist on the said hospital.

Doctor Tan, our cardiologist, interviewed me regarding my illness. I told him all the symptoms I was experiencing, stomach pains, what happened to my sister, my miscarriage and the hyperventilation. He explained to me what hyperventilation is. He also made it clear that the most severe case of hyperventilation can lead to loss of consciousness (yeah I know, it's still frightening, but I was able to breathe freely when he made sure that the attack will not lead to death). He also referred me to his colleague - a psychiatrist. At first I was hesitant and asked my mother about this, and she said that it's okay to go.

I guess it was around April 2016 when I went to see a psychiatrist. Again, I told her everything, all that I've said to Doctor Tan. She prescribed me Xanax and anti-depressant. It was a monthly check up before. All my savings went to the medicines and the doctor's fee. I almost got broke because of this. It actually added frustration and stress but I can say that I'm still a bit lucky that I have parents that are supportive financially and emotionally. I can assure you that this is not an easy battle like what other people say. It's more serious that it was shown on TV - side effects of the medicine, adjusting does, and the anxiety and depression itself. I cannot say I was cured, but at least the attacks lessen and I'm slowly getting better. Finally, after 6 months, she removed the Xanax though I'm still maintaining the anti-depressant. I guess it's to control all the thoughts that I have.

I'm not suicidal, though I think of suicide. There are times that I feel down, times that I need to smile and times that I just want to cry. I guess, it's part of the illness. I'm still fighting this battle and will fight as long as I live. So for people who invalidates us, sufferers of mental illness, please be a little more kind. Your words and actions only adds up to what we already think and feel. We already suffers mentally, physically and emotionally. Please be more gentle.

"Remember that you were given this life because you're strong enough to live it."

My First Hyperventilation Episode

Wow! It’s been so long since I last updated this blog. Life got quite busy after my last post – resigned from my job, got pregnant, had a miscarriage, clinically diagnosed with Generalized AnxietyDisorder, and been taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds for almost 2 years.

Mostly people do not know what mental illness is about. They sometimes make fun of it. But hardly do they know that people are really suffering from this illness. At first, I was skeptical about writing about mental illness as my current employer does not know that I’m suffering from it. But as time goes on, I’m really having a hard time keeping it to myself and would like my friends, coworkers and even the bosses, to know that mental illness does exist and I do suffer from it.

Photo from artsjournal.com

It was around 1:00 am of February 17, 2015 when I asked my boyfriend to take me to the hospital because I cannot breathe. I really thought that I was dying. I told him several times of how much I love him (it sounds funny now, but not during that time). When we got there, the doctor took necessary steps to know what is wrong with me as I am having difficulty in breathing, numbness/tingling sensations on my hands, feet, stomach and mouth and vomited while waiting for a cab to arrive. Then they told me to lie down and relax. They put a brown bag covering my mouth and nose and told me to breathe slowly. The nurse then injected me something, maybe something to calm my nerves.  Slowly but surely, I was able to breathe properly and everything was gone - the storm has already passed. But just what really happened? Am I dying? Why did I feel something like that?

The doctor approached me and told me that I should always bring brown bag and use it if ever I had trouble breathing. She told me that I have Hyperventilation and that was the first time I’ve heard about it. I thought, what is hyperventilation? Is it a terminal illness? Is it curable? Why prescribe me with only brown paper bag?

Photo from Healthrising.org

I was discharged after 3 hours of breathing in a paper bag in the emergency room. On our way home, I was thinking what did I do to feel that way? I need to know more about hyperventilation.  And so I researched.

Hyperventilation or over breathing is a condition in which you start to breathe very fast. It is although you feel that you don’t have enough oxygen, but it’s the opposite – your body has too much oxygen. Common symptoms are shortness of breath, heart palpitations, dizziness, chest pains and numbness of hands and feet – all of which, I felt during my “episode”.

I changed my lifestyle after that incident. I quit smoking, drinking caffeinated drinks and even started to sleep earlier than I used to (I’m a night owl/evening person). I thought that by doing so, I will not experience it again. But I was wrong.  I still experience it up to this day. Saying that I’m kind of used to it is an understatement. I will never get used to it. Every day is a struggle, but I survived and still surviving.

I know this article is incomplete. I will write another one about my miscarriage, hyperventilation and how I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My mind is racing with different thoughts right now so I need to hibernate. Until next post!

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting."